Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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