So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
