oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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