i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
