its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
