Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
