New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
