I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
