i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
