shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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