My friends, they love my intelligence
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
