She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
