she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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