my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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