she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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