try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
