I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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