Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
