One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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