Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
