i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
