I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize