My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
