Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize