i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
