I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
