He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I would fuck him just for his dog
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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