Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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