This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
