It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
