alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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