I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
