ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was born a porn star she said
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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