Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
