I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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