One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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