Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
