p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
