my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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