i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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