Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
