Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
