Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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