She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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