Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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