That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
