I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
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Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
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Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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