I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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