need another drink. this is the easiest way
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
