He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
