Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
