What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
