Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
