you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
