i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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