So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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