Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
