I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
