I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
