it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
