are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize
